1 00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:11,840 Good morning. 2 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:14,080 WOMAN: Good morning. Hey. 3 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,120 All right, everybody, listen up. 4 00:00:16,220 --> 00:00:19,930 As of about... one minute ago, 5 00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:23,330 the sanitation workers union rejected our final offer. 6 00:00:23,430 --> 00:00:25,130 They are now officially on strike. 7 00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,970 It's happening? 8 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,900 So let's... let's start looking into alternative dumpsites, all right? 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,020 Vacant lots, barges... 10 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,120 New Jersey. 11 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:35,140 This strike could drag on for days, weeks. 12 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,780 Maybe even months. 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,390 Mike, I need something to tell the press. They're killing me. 14 00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:41,910 The strike's over, Paul, finished. 15 00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:44,010 Really? Oh, yeah. 16 00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:48,520 (EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE) 17 00:00:48,620 --> 00:00:50,560 You're not lying to me, are you? 18 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:53,700 I would be disappointed if this whole thing wasn't settled by this afternoon. 19 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:57,020 God, I love this job. 20 00:00:58,630 --> 00:01:01,010 Okay, that's only going to buy us a couple hours, 21 00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:03,010 But I'm not debating this thing in the press. 22 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:04,410 It's only going to hurt negotiations. 23 00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:05,650 Now, you all know the rules. 24 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,930 Anybody who tells Paul the truth, 25 00:01:08,030 --> 00:01:10,040 puts ten bucks in the kitty. 26 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,740 It's going to be a long day, people. 27 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,660 We got garbage in the streets. 28 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,580 We got a weather report calling for temperatures in the mid-90s with no breeze. 29 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:21,390 By 11 o'clock, the city's going to smell like a giant foot. 30 00:01:21,490 --> 00:01:23,750 People are going to be hurling themselves into the East River, 31 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:27,010 and we all know who everybody's going to blame, don't we? 32 00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:30,080 Good morning, everyone! 33 00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:31,520 Hey, Flaherty, how's our city? 34 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:32,760 Oh, couldn't be better, sir. 35 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,720 That's what I like to hear. 36 00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:37,380 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 37 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,580 The Mayor is not happy. 38 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,860 Sorry to hear about that. How you doing? 39 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,340 I'm okay. Let me see my own schedule. 40 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,060 Why? You're not going to have time for any of it. 41 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,940 No. No. No. No. No. No. 42 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,110 You gave me six nos. There's only five things on the list. 43 00:02:00,210 --> 00:02:01,190 That last no, that's for you. 44 00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:03,290 You can use that however you want. 45 00:02:03,730 --> 00:02:05,030 Karen. Yes, Mr. Flaherty? 46 00:02:05,130 --> 00:02:07,510 I need you to get a Mr. Sabatino on the phone. 47 00:02:07,610 --> 00:02:09,200 He's the head of the sanitation workers union... 48 00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,320 Mmm-hmm. ...and he doesn't want to talk to us, 49 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:14,560 so you're gonna have to do me a favor, okay? 50 00:02:14,660 --> 00:02:19,850 You know how, no matter what happens, You're always so cheerful, 51 00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:21,990 it just makes us all want to stab you through the heart? 52 00:02:23,190 --> 00:02:25,130 Uh-huh. 53 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,850 That's not going to work on Mr. Sabatino, 54 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:29,020 so you got to do me a favor, all right? 55 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,060 You got to intimidate this guy, all right? 56 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,300 Tap into your darker side, 57 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,300 that angry corner of your soul 58 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,300 where violence reigns 59 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,550 and terror cracks the whip. 60 00:02:40,650 --> 00:02:42,650 Okey-dokey. 61 00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:47,130 It was just a run-of-the-mill orgasm. I didn't mean to scare you. 62 00:02:49,050 --> 00:02:51,060 Could you hold a second, Mom? 63 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:54,480 I worked up some new numbers for you, Mike. 64 00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:55,560 Talk to me, Nikki. 65 00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,120 We're not there yet. 66 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,340 I mean, forget the health insurance and the pension plans. 67 00:02:58,420 --> 00:02:59,650 We can't even come close to 68 00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:02,330 what these sanitation workers are asking for. 69 00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,090 Give it another pass. All right, 70 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:06,190 but I wouldn't be optimistic. 71 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,520 Oh, I'll... I'll let you get back to your mom. 72 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,600 Before she loses her erection. 73 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,580 (IMPERCEPTIBLE) 74 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,030 So, yes, we do hope that New Yorkers will continue 75 00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:25,350 to bag and dispose of their garbage in the usual manner. 76 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:26,470 Any other questions? 77 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:29,190 Anybody have any questions? 78 00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:31,980 Any questions at all? Anybody? Anybody? 79 00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:34,560 Yes, Ashley? 80 00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:36,240 So, am I to understand that you actually believe 81 00:03:36,340 --> 00:03:38,540 that garbage pickup will resume tomorrow morning? Yes. 82 00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:41,730 Yes. 83 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,830 With all my heart. 84 00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:47,330 That's interesting, because I spoke to Mr. Sabatino 85 00:03:47,430 --> 00:03:49,050 about 15 minutes ago, 86 00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:51,940 and... and I asked him how long he thought the strike might last, 87 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:53,900 and he said, and I quote, 88 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000 "How long you got?" 89 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:05,210 It's not good. No. 90 00:04:06,090 --> 00:04:07,550 Why are you beating up on Paul? 91 00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,270 Guy's just doing his job. 92 00:04:09,370 --> 00:04:10,560 I don't blame Paul. 93 00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:12,660 I know who has his hand inside the puppet. 94 00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:16,720 Why, thank you. That's a lovely image. 95 00:04:16,820 --> 00:04:18,080 Got any more questions? 96 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,690 Yeah, I mean, what do you hope to gain by this? 97 00:04:19,790 --> 00:04:22,050 It's a strike. It's not like people aren't going to notice. 98 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:24,970 Why can't you just say no progress has been made? 99 00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,090 'Cause the second I do that, 100 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:28,250 you'd make it out to be the Mayor's fault. 101 00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,820 Oh, so it's not the Mayor's fault? 102 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,300 I'll just write the story, uh, 103 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,340 "Garbage unreasonable, refuses to be taken away." 104 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,900 Why do you people always focus on the negative? 105 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,420 Mike, the city of New York generates more garbage 106 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,710 than any other city in the world. 107 00:04:40,810 --> 00:04:43,110 We're number one. 108 00:04:43,210 --> 00:04:46,190 That's great. When we came in, we were number three. 109 00:04:46,290 --> 00:04:48,710 Whatever. You're the one who has to sleep at night. 110 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,200 That's right. 111 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:51,920 Okay, then. Okay. 112 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,520 See you tonight? My place? 113 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,620 No problem. 114 00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:59,280 All right, the Mayor prepared to speak about the strike, James? 115 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,410 I worked on it all night, Mike. 116 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:02,890 I have six pages of spontaneous remarks. 117 00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:05,170 You know, Mike, if I were deputy mayor, 118 00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:07,130 there never would have been a garbage strike. 119 00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,650 Stuart, I'm sure there are 100 reasons 120 00:05:08,750 --> 00:05:10,260 why you think you deserve my job. 121 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,540 Oh, good! You read my manifesto. 122 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:14,940 (OVER TV) REPORTERS: Sir? Mr. Mayor? 123 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,420 REPORTER: Any comments on the strike, sir? 124 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,140 "I don't think we need to be overly concerned." 125 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,510 MAYOR: I don't think we need to be overly concerned. 126 00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,950 "We all want this settled quickly." 127 00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:24,310 We all want this settled quickly. Besides... 128 00:05:24,410 --> 00:05:25,870 Eighty-eight percent. 129 00:05:25,970 --> 00:05:27,670 Good God, Eighty-eight percent! Eighty-eight percent of... 130 00:05:27,770 --> 00:05:29,270 ...88% of all major 131 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,160 union strikes end in less than 48 hours, 132 00:05:32,260 --> 00:05:34,640 so this shouldn't drag on. Thank you. 133 00:05:34,740 --> 00:05:36,200 And there's your sound bite. 134 00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,680 All right. We're golden. 135 00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,190 REPORTER: (OVER TV) Mr. Mayor, would you consider marching 136 00:05:40,270 --> 00:05:41,530 in the gay pride parade this week? 137 00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,630 What are you, drunk? 138 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,730 What was that? 139 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,950 I didn't write that, Mike. 140 00:06:04,050 --> 00:06:06,410 Oh, great. There go all our free show tickets. 141 00:06:08,490 --> 00:06:11,660 All right. It's out there. He said it. Now what? 142 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:13,480 I tell you, if we have 143 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:14,600 one gay person on the staff, 144 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,700 this whole thing goes away. 145 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:20,060 Everybody stop. 146 00:06:25,310 --> 00:06:27,310 I need a gay person. 147 00:06:28,790 --> 00:06:30,010 Huh? 148 00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:32,760 Who in this room is gay? 149 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,280 Not that kind of gay. 150 00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:42,310 Oh, come on. 151 00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:44,730 You telling me nobody is even leaning that way? 152 00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:47,570 Do threesomes count? 153 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,660 Nobody even had a gay fling? 154 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,780 Nobody here went to camp? 155 00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,510 James? 156 00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:08,170 Why are you asking me? 157 00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:09,890 All righty, people. 158 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:12,740 I assume you all get television. 159 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,900 I'd like to get a jump-start on our new problem. 160 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,260 All right, Paul, we're in great shape. We are? 161 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,260 Oh, sure. We're an open administration. 162 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,390 We even have prominent gay personnel 163 00:07:21,490 --> 00:07:22,470 on our staff. 164 00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:24,570 We do? Who? 165 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,410 James. 166 00:07:28,930 --> 00:07:30,940 Oh, yeah. 167 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:40,400 (TELEVISION PLAYING INDISTINCTLY) 168 00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,510 Eleven o'clock. 169 00:07:42,870 --> 00:07:44,090 Workday is over. 170 00:07:44,190 --> 00:07:45,650 Well, you're not listening to me. 171 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,750 That's not the Mayor's position. 172 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,320 I got to go. 173 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,820 What do you want to do? 174 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,920 Oh, I don't know. 175 00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,230 What do you want to do? 176 00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:05,670 We could rent a movie. 177 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,190 Nah. I don't want to. 178 00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,870 We could read. 179 00:08:08,970 --> 00:08:11,040 No. 180 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,360 We could play Boggle. 181 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:15,340 That's it. I want to play Boggle. 182 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:17,160 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 183 00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,040 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 184 00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,480 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. 185 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:23,250 Listen, we're really getting beat up on this parade thing. 186 00:08:23,350 --> 00:08:25,770 It might be a good idea maybe to have James in there in the morning, 187 00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:26,870 answer some questions. All right. 188 00:08:26,950 --> 00:08:28,970 Get back to me. I'll see you. 189 00:08:29,070 --> 00:08:31,700 Have James there to answer questions about what? 190 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,300 Off the record? 191 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,860 What it's like to be a gay man in the Mayor's office. 192 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,700 Since when is James gay? 193 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,800 Since about 5:15. 194 00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,510 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 195 00:08:42,610 --> 00:08:43,870 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 196 00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:45,230 (OVER SPEAKER) Mike, it's Stuart. 197 00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:46,990 Sabatino turned our offer down. 198 00:08:47,090 --> 00:08:48,590 I've rounded everybody up. 199 00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:50,810 We're on our way over. Be there in three minutes. 200 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,360 Can we do it? 201 00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:56,460 Well, I could. 202 00:08:58,340 --> 00:08:59,840 (GRUNTS) 203 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:03,290 I hate to say this, but this could turn into an all-nighter. 204 00:09:03,390 --> 00:09:05,010 Oh, great. That's just what I need. 205 00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:07,730 You know, I got a big day tomorrow. I got to be up at 6:00. 206 00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:10,490 Maybe you should just crash at your place tonight. 207 00:09:10,590 --> 00:09:11,740 No. I can't. 208 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,060 Why not? 209 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,140 I don't have one. 210 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,580 What? 211 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,060 My lease, it ran out a few weeks ago, 212 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,320 and I didn't bother renewing it. 213 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,970 Oh. So, then, uh... 214 00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,410 ...we live together. 215 00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:30,890 Well, yeah, I guess. 216 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,780 I feel I should have been told. 217 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:37,200 We already live together. 218 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,760 I mean, it's not like I snuck into your apartment. 219 00:09:38,860 --> 00:09:41,060 I've been sleeping here every night for a year and a half. 220 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,750 As a guest. 221 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,130 Oh, as a guest? Really? 222 00:09:46,230 --> 00:09:48,230 Look at that picture over there, Mike. 223 00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:52,240 Oh, my God. 224 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,240 Those aren't my parents. 225 00:09:58,720 --> 00:09:59,700 They're my parents. 226 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:01,810 Who did you think they were? 227 00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:04,330 I thought they came with the frame. 228 00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:08,390 That's my dresser, too. 229 00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:10,390 All right. okay. Well, listen, honey, 230 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:12,720 a photo and a dresser doesn't... 231 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,820 Couch. 232 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:17,920 Coffee table. Television. 233 00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,600 Okay. 234 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,710 The dog. 235 00:10:24,630 --> 00:10:26,630 Not Rex. 236 00:10:28,990 --> 00:10:30,090 You do live here. 237 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:32,200 Uh-huh. 238 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,680 Where do I live? 239 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,860 I... I can't believe this is such a big deal to you. 240 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,660 I mean, we eat together. We sleep together. 241 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,630 We vacation together. 242 00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:44,750 Mike, we're each other's 243 00:10:44,850 --> 00:10:47,250 "In case of emergency, please notify" person. 244 00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,020 I can't breathe. 245 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,780 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 246 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,820 You might want to notify yourself. 247 00:11:07,670 --> 00:11:09,670 MAYOR: (OVER TV) What are you, drunk? 248 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,940 MAYOR: What's in the journal? 249 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,060 "Sanitation strike cripples city." 250 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,900 What about the news? 251 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,310 "Mayor snubs gay community." (GASPS) 252 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:24,830 Anything in the Post? 253 00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:27,650 "Family dog drives heart attack victim to hospital..." 254 00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:29,470 (SMACKS LIPS) 255 00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:31,570 "...as Mayor snubs gay community." 256 00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:33,680 I love the Post. 257 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,020 Here are your remarks for the dedication, sir. 258 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:38,400 "Proud to be here. 259 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,240 "Proud of a community on the rise." 260 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,280 Mmm-hmm. 261 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,490 Basically, you're just... 262 00:11:42,590 --> 00:11:43,890 you're very... 263 00:11:43,990 --> 00:11:45,990 very proud. 264 00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:48,290 You look terrible, Flaherty. 265 00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,530 We were up all night working on this thing. 266 00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:52,640 Mmm. Ashley... 267 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,100 Forget I said that, okay? 268 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,940 I don't want to bother you. 269 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,800 No bother. Romantic problems are, uh... 270 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,640 right up my alley. 271 00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:05,210 I did a little bird-dogging in my day. 272 00:12:07,690 --> 00:12:08,910 Let's hear it. 273 00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:11,030 All right, uh... well, the thing is, Ashley feels... 274 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,140 You know what you do? 275 00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,360 Send her to a spa. 276 00:12:16,460 --> 00:12:19,700 All is forgiven in the 100-degree mud. 277 00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:24,330 Or if that doesn't work, you name a street after her... 278 00:12:24,430 --> 00:12:26,430 or a park. 279 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,830 They love parks. 280 00:12:29,830 --> 00:12:31,830 Those are three... 281 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,240 ...really good suggestions, sir. 282 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,710 Hey. 283 00:12:43,810 --> 00:12:45,870 Hey. 284 00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,310 You've been avoiding me all morning. 285 00:12:47,410 --> 00:12:50,510 I think we need to talk. Don't you? 286 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:52,720 I think that everything that needed to be said was said. 287 00:12:52,820 --> 00:12:54,600 I don't know about that. 288 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,440 You dropped a bomb on me last night. 289 00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:58,880 I got a feeling you didn't get the reaction 290 00:12:58,980 --> 00:13:00,200 you were looking for. 291 00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:01,840 No, not at all. I find hysterical paralysis 292 00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:03,950 very reassuring. 293 00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,310 I just don't see what the big problem is. 294 00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,930 All we have to do is get your old place back. 295 00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:14,140 Mike, will you tell me why my apartment is so important to you? 296 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,240 Us. Important to us. 297 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,220 It's our safety net. 298 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,310 It's a $900-a-month empty room that allows you to delude yourself 299 00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:25,310 into thinking that you haven't made a commitment. 300 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,530 Well... if it does all that... 301 00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:32,690 ...and it's only 900 bucks... 302 00:13:33,860 --> 00:13:34,840 (SIGHS) 303 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,920 All right. All right, look. 304 00:13:37,020 --> 00:13:40,640 You said commitment, and, uh... 305 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:43,290 and I got a little crazy, okay? 306 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:46,290 I admit that, but I know what you're saying, 307 00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,490 and you're right, 308 00:13:48,590 --> 00:13:50,170 so let's go ahead. 309 00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:52,270 Let's do it. 310 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,080 We live together. 311 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,260 Just like that. 312 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,360 Yeah. 313 00:14:05,130 --> 00:14:07,130 Isn't it great? 314 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,550 I don't think so, Mike. (SIGHS) 315 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:13,080 Now I'm really confused. 316 00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,480 Well, I'm confused, too. 317 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:15,680 I mean, this is hard. You know? 318 00:14:15,780 --> 00:14:18,060 I think we should just take some time off. 319 00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:22,380 Would you like to go to a spa? 320 00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:25,770 Look, I'm sure with work, 321 00:14:25,870 --> 00:14:27,090 we'll see each other all the time. 322 00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:29,010 You know, I think we should just, 323 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,570 keep the rest of our relationship platonic for a while. 324 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:32,850 Oh, I see. Okay. 325 00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:36,300 Just keep exactly what we have now. 326 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,740 Just... 327 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,840 without the sex. 328 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,450 I'm gonna have to vote no on that. 329 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,830 You know what? I really care about you, Michael. I do. 330 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,550 I love you, but... I ask for an honest reaction, 331 00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,280 you know, and all I get is a joke. 332 00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:54,480 I love you, too, honey. 333 00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,480 We're just different. That's all, 334 00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,960 but, you know, hey, hey, different is good. 335 00:14:59,060 --> 00:15:01,520 You know, that's why it's great that we're together, 336 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:04,970 because I think we need people like you 337 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,290 to keep people like me in check, 338 00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:10,090 and I think that we need people like me 339 00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:12,310 to keep people like you from overthinking things. 340 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,160 And I think that... that people... 341 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,400 ...who need people... 342 00:15:24,810 --> 00:15:26,810 ...the luckiest people in the world. 343 00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:32,890 See, we're different. I would have laughed at that. 344 00:15:34,060 --> 00:15:35,840 Michael, as per your request, 345 00:15:35,940 --> 00:15:39,200 I have scheduled a press conference this afternoon at 5 o'clock 346 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,360 to introduce a key member of our staff, 347 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:44,210 who also happens to be homosexual, 348 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,010 but guess what, Mike? 349 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:48,890 James here says that he's not gay. 350 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,450 Ten bucks in the kitty, James. 351 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,170 I can't take this anymore, Mike. 352 00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:53,410 I can't take it. 353 00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,580 I don't know what's real and what's not. 354 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,060 I don't know day from night, good from evil. 355 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,160 I'm lost. I'm lost. I'm lost. 356 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,460 Don't melt down on me, Paul. 357 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,430 Not today, okay? I need you. 358 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,530 This is a very emotional time. 359 00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:12,490 James being gay surprised all of us. 360 00:16:13,980 --> 00:16:15,980 Especially James. 361 00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,600 Come on, Paulie. For me? 362 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,700 All right, all right, all right. 363 00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,560 All right, look. If we're going to go through 364 00:16:22,660 --> 00:16:24,890 with your charade of a press conference, 365 00:16:24,990 --> 00:16:26,370 we may as well take a couple of minutes, 366 00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:28,210 go over the sort of questions you're going to get asked. 367 00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:30,310 Is it really going to be that big a deal? 368 00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,050 I mean, it's not like it's front-page stuff. 369 00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,340 Is it? 370 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,760 You might want to call your parents. 371 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,750 Uh, Janelle, I'd like you to get Ashley... Schaeffer 372 00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:48,850 on the phone for me, please. 373 00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:52,990 What? 374 00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:56,380 This is getting ridiculous. You've tried 23 times. 375 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,240 I don't care. 376 00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:01,340 I don't feel like an idiot. 377 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,510 You're not the one making the calls. 378 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:09,690 Hey, Mike. Mike, get over here. 379 00:17:09,790 --> 00:17:11,290 This guy's killing us. 380 00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:14,620 No. This wasn't just a slight to the gay community. 381 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,460 We consider it to be symptomatic 382 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,220 of a hostile and repressive administration. 383 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:22,100 And until we see significant changes, 384 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,790 we are going to harass and haunt the Mayor at every turn. 385 00:17:24,890 --> 00:17:26,830 We are going to make his life miserable 386 00:17:26,930 --> 00:17:28,190 over the next four years 387 00:17:28,290 --> 00:17:29,270 and make sure there aren't 388 00:17:29,370 --> 00:17:31,670 four years after that. 389 00:17:31,770 --> 00:17:33,770 Now, what do you people have to say about that? 390 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,080 What can I say? 391 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,820 You're hired! I love this guy. Get him a desk. 392 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:40,480 Mike, Mike... 393 00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:42,580 Uh, listen. 394 00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:45,070 You know I'd do anything for you. 395 00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:46,850 I would. 396 00:17:46,950 --> 00:17:49,510 And so when you asked me to be gay for you... 397 00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:54,780 ...I gave it a lot of thought, and, uh... 398 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,860 Let me say first off how honored I am that you chose me. 399 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,100 James, James... relax, okay? 400 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:03,200 You're not gay anymore. 401 00:18:05,730 --> 00:18:07,630 "Hostile and repressive." 402 00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:09,430 That's good. That's a good line. 403 00:18:09,530 --> 00:18:12,390 I thought "Backward and medieval" was pretty good, too. 404 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,080 "Morally stunted and Machiavellian." 405 00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:18,320 Look, it's very easy to stand outside throwing rocks. 406 00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:21,440 But please, do not have the unmitigated audacity... 407 00:18:21,540 --> 00:18:23,540 Two very big words... 408 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,010 ...to question what I believe in, okay? 409 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,370 I'm offering you a chance to come in, 410 00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:31,050 sit down at the table, and make policy. 411 00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:33,890 This... this is the opportunity of a lifetime. 412 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:36,960 If I act now, do I get a free set of steak knives? 413 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,380 The Mayor made a mistake. 414 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,260 I admit that. 415 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,580 But what do you want to do? 416 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:44,670 Do you want to stay out there 417 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:46,590 and bitch about a parade, 418 00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:49,250 or do you want to come in and make a difference? 419 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,550 You won't be able to control me. 420 00:18:52,650 --> 00:18:54,660 You know that. 421 00:18:55,540 --> 00:18:56,640 How we doing in here? 422 00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:58,240 Mr. Mayor, perfect timing as usual. 423 00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,480 I think we're pretty close to making a decision. 424 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:01,680 Mr. Mayor... Yes. 425 00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:02,760 ...thank you for asking me 426 00:19:02,860 --> 00:19:04,160 to be a part of this administration. 427 00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:05,450 I accept... Oh. 428 00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:06,850 ...and I promise you, as long as you're in office, 429 00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:08,950 I'm going to be your worst nightmare. 430 00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,550 Mike, is that good? 431 00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:14,210 It's good. 432 00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:16,320 Splendid! Welcome aboard. 433 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,340 MAN: Good night, good night. WOMAN: Good night. 434 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,980 We're meeting Carter for a beer to celebrate. 435 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:23,100 You want to join us? 436 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,210 Uh, no, I don't think so. All right. 437 00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:28,450 We're meeting at Houlihan's, right? 438 00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,910 Yes. 439 00:19:31,010 --> 00:19:33,510 Really? 'Cause I went there the other night, 440 00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:35,620 and none of you guys showed. 441 00:19:36,220 --> 00:19:38,220 Imagine that. 442 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,540 Can I talk to you for a second? 443 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:45,350 Yeah. 444 00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:47,730 Talk. 445 00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:49,730 Okay, I thought that part was going to take a lot longer, 446 00:19:49,830 --> 00:19:51,990 so I'm not really prepared... Oh, to hell with it. 447 00:19:54,270 --> 00:19:56,100 Okay, uh... 448 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,200 Here goes. 449 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,140 (EXHALES) 450 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,530 Are you done? Because that was very moving. 451 00:20:07,330 --> 00:20:08,630 Would it make any difference to you 452 00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:12,350 if I gave up my own apartment? 453 00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:14,030 I don't know what good that would do, 454 00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:16,560 seeing that neither one of us would have a place to live then. 455 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,540 Okay, 'cause I sublet my apartment this afternoon. 456 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:21,800 Needless to say, I was hoping 457 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,900 for a completely different answer. 458 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:26,650 I just... 459 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:30,750 figured that if... we're going to do this for real... 460 00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:34,990 ...we should have a fresh start. 461 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,860 You sure about this, Mike? 462 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,320 Maybe I didn't know what all this meant, 463 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,920 but I do now. 464 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:46,590 I really... 465 00:20:46,690 --> 00:20:48,690 really want us to live together. 466 00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,930 No nets? 467 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,410 I live for danger. 468 00:20:54,970 --> 00:20:56,160 (DOOR OPENS) MAYOR: Michael? 469 00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:58,740 Hello. Walk out with me, would you, please? 470 00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:03,540 Oh, just one thing. 471 00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,710 Promise to tell me if we get married. 472 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,370 Okay, sir, what can I do for you? Yeah. 473 00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:14,930 Anything I need to know? 474 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:17,540 Uh, well, I've been back and forth with Sabatino all day. 475 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:18,740 I mean, I don't think the guy realizes 476 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:20,060 what we're offering. 477 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,180 I'll give him another call. 478 00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,380 Mike, it's a strike. There's no quick fix here. 479 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,070 Now, just let it rest. 480 00:21:26,170 --> 00:21:27,350 You know, the city's not going to fall apart 481 00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:29,470 because you take one night off. 482 00:21:29,570 --> 00:21:31,670 I mean, it probably will, 483 00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:33,770 but it will anyway. 484 00:21:35,010 --> 00:21:37,040 So, where are you off to? 485 00:21:37,140 --> 00:21:39,160 A fund-raiser. Um... 486 00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:41,240 Oh, yeah, Jewish Community Center, 487 00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,340 Rego Park. 488 00:21:43,980 --> 00:21:46,170 Well, shalom, sir. 489 00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:47,770 L'chayim, Mike. 490 00:21:47,870 --> 00:21:50,030 (SINGS HASIDIC SONG) 491 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,560 Good night, Mr. Flaherty. Good night, Skippy. 492 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,780 ASHLEY: So, where should we live? 493 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,630 Chelsea? SoHo? 494 00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:07,790 Tribeca? 495 00:22:07,890 --> 00:22:09,890 What's wrong with this place? 496 00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:12,270 It's furnished. 497 00:22:12,370 --> 00:22:14,550 Rent's cheap. 498 00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:16,780 Unbelievably short commute for me. 499 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,880 Okay... let me just warn you. 500 00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:23,980 (CLEARS THROAT) Everything we do here is on record. 501 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,910 Let's go to a hotel. 502 00:22:27,990 --> 00:22:29,050 What are you doing? 503 00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:30,610 Just checking my voicemail. 504 00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:31,730 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 505 00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:33,830 Mike, look at your watch. 506 00:22:35,710 --> 00:22:37,720 Whoa, 11:05, what do you know? 507 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:40,880 Workday's over. 508 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,920 Honey. 509 00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:50,410 Fine, it worked for you. 510 00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:53,670 Yeah, well, it's working for you, too. 511 00:22:53,770 --> 00:22:55,770 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) 512 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,200 (OVER SPEAKER) Hey, Mike, this is Paul. Listen. 513 00:22:58,300 --> 00:22:59,760 I'm at Houlihan's. 514 00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:01,900 Where the hell is everybody?